Forgive Them for They Know Not What They Do

Join us on our FINAL EPISODE of the Season as we discuss how to forgive those who cause harm and more. 

This season we push the depths of our relationship even further. Tackling the difficult conversations that we fear may separate us.

Tina, a conservative christian woman and Bonnie Violet, a trans gender queer drag queen have an anti-cancel culture conversation. While many family members are choosing to no longer speak, we have chosen to sit at the table and engage in difficult conversation to find peace and restoration.

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Transcript

0:04
[Music] is [Music]
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[Music] between us is
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[Music]
0:38
hello hey everyone uh me bonnie violet i'm a transgender queer spiritual drag artist and you are
0:44
splintered grace um and this is my co-host hey everybody
0:49
um we are excited to have you join us tonight um it's been a wonderful fabulous week and we're excited about
0:55
the topic that we have but before we go there how was your week bonnie
1:00
my week um it's it's been a doozy of a week uh to be honest with you
1:06
you know i went to the er on was it earlier in the week um for like a blood pressure
1:12
high blood pressure situation it was it was scary it was maybe scarier than it
1:18
needed to be i think but it was still scary and uh luckily you know nothing
1:23
major um you know i haven't got the bill yet so yeah
1:29
it's all fine until the bill comes huh yeah yeah so overall it was a fairly good experience as far as like
1:36
yeah it was it was like as far as yeah it was a good experience considering what was going on but um all
1:42
is well now how about you how was your week my week was good i've had it i've had a good week staying busy thank goodness i
1:49
didn't have a emergency room visit but just working around the garden enjoying the cooler weather here in the
1:56
mornings and um yeah looking forward to having you come for a visit so i know it's just like throwing that out there
2:03
yeah it's like what like a week and a half ish yeah yeah
2:08
yeah i'm excited i can't wait to be in the same room with you too yeah it'll be fun so hopefully we don't run your ragged
2:14
while you're here that's okay i i can handle it
2:20
well hey we just i just wanted to kind of um i don't know get our juices flowing and and
2:26
get us ready for the topic that we have and i just the topic we have as everyone has seen all week it's forgive them for
2:32
they know not what they do and um i just was curious uh bonnie
2:37
what brought us to this topic in the last couple weeks we've been uh pulling stuff out of the bible specifically uh
2:45
to talk about and is there any particular reason why you pulled this one out um no i mean it's just something
2:51
that's kind of been on my mind for a while um as far as like um
2:56
i don't know it's just like it's like a phrase you know from the bible you know like from the crucifixion you know from
3:02
what what jesus said to the people who were um putting him on the cross and killing him
3:08
and you know he said forgive them for they know not what they do and i think in that particular situation
3:15
there might have been obviously like a good guy bad guy kind of situation um
3:20
but i think for me and we've talked about this a lot of times like over like in different different ways over
3:27
the season and this is our last episode like this season so i thought it might be a good topic
3:32
for us as we're like summing things up um yeah so
3:38
i and like for me i feel like i wonder if there's a way that i can um put that
3:44
phrase if you will into work in my life like would it benefit me if i could approach
3:51
um with forgiveness i guess um from people who cause harm
3:57
um i think the other aspect to me is like i was always kind of curious about you
4:02
know like people who think that because i'm trans or because i'm gay that um
4:08
that like i'm going to hell or that um you know like they're i think it's coming from a space of them wanting
4:15
like i think maybe it's coming from a place of caring right it's coming from a place of
4:20
mis like not like um not knowing
4:25
fully how their actions are impacting the person on the other hand you know
4:31
and their intention is not to harm um but a lot of harm does
4:36
um happen uh when when that when that takes place yeah yeah you're right
4:43
right i think i think you're right on all those counts so this particular passage in the in the
4:50
bible also is nearly dear to my heart so go ahead
4:59
where are you going and do you want to talk about about it it seems like we have a little
5:04
bit of like uh yeah we're just having like a digital problem
5:10
okay sorry i thought oh you had something more to say i didn't interrupt you i apologize um so yeah this particular passage uh
5:18
has a uh uh i lost my train of thought has is very important to me
5:24
you know this is like you had said this is something that jesus said um just before he died uh or in the
5:31
process of being crucified um and he covered everybody he's like you know father i'm going to cover these folks
5:38
i'm going to forgive them for they don't understand what it is that they're doing i want to make sure we understand that
5:44
doesn't take away the fact that they were doing something wrong they were committing a murder
5:49
but he wanted to represent them in the light that because they didn't understand what they
5:54
were doing that there needed to be hope for them to have forgiveness and salvation so so
6:01
yeah i take a lot of i this brings me a lot of peace because i blow it a lot
6:06
and sometimes even i'll represent god in a way that's not correct because i don't
6:12
understand that i'm not doing it correctly just kind of like what you talked about and i'm grateful to know that when i do
6:18
that if i ask for forgiveness that it's available to me not just from god but hopefully from the people that are the
6:25
person that i may have offended yeah so yes i think that's a great way to
6:30
try to lead out and live your life there's no one that people aren't perfect
6:36
yeah and i i often like the relationship i want to have with um with god
6:41
a lot of the times the relationship that i have with god is a reflection or like that's how i
6:46
learn how to be in relationship with others and so it's like how can i approach somebody as if maybe they don't know the
6:53
harm that they're causing you know i've we've all dealt with plenty of people in our lives who don't fully understand us
6:59
who or we don't feel understood or seen fully um or that sort of thing and um
7:06
at least i have and in that in that experience
7:13
harm can sometimes be done when people don't understand how their actions can impact another person
7:19
and i think sometimes people can come to understand or come to notice
7:24
that there's they're having that impact on somebody else but i think and i wonder sometimes if
7:31
just sometimes people aren't going to get it and for me it's like how do i deal with that
7:37
potential of you know somebody continuing to say step on my foot
7:43
every time i see them because they don't understand that i don't know how big feet um you know and so it's like and i can
7:51
even tell them or talk to them about it but they can't seem to really grasp what it what it means you know yeah
7:58
although the bible talks about that specifically that we should forgive people 70 times seven
8:04
yeah and so i think there's we've always got to approach them with the heart of forgiveness
8:09
if there comes a point where they just refuse or they they for whatever reason or or maybe they
8:16
don't have a scriptural reason to not act appropriately then um you may have to
8:22
decide that maybe that person's not the person you need to spend the bulk of your time with or as much time with
8:27
i still love them still engage with them and be you know whatever loving and kind to them but you just may not engage with
8:34
them as often at least that's how i kind of handle that yeah i know i mean i i get that totally
8:39
yeah like space from people like because i don't know like i you know i serenity is something and
8:45
peace is something that i want to experience as much as i can yeah i think we all want that
8:52
and if i'm not if i'm taking things personal um that aren't personal or i'm being you
8:58
know what i mean like i'm being uh i don't know repeat offended
9:03
in a way that is because of somebody's inability i don't you know what i mean like it's like i can either choose to be
9:09
mad and angry and hold on to that resentment um
9:14
or i could you know forget like forgive them or you know
9:20
i i think that's part of it it's like how do i um how do i know when to step away how do i
9:26
know um you know like all those sorts of things um yeah i think that's just a discernment
9:33
that we agree but and when we step away we got to make sure that we're still praying for these folks
9:38
because you know just like they don't understand or they're lost or even they're being misguided
9:44
by maybe someone else in their life and so they're just trying to find their own space where they're trying to figure it
9:49
out or even sometimes just trying to belong the best that they know how and i
9:54
think if if we continue to be kind and loving um engage when necessary even if
10:00
we've had to take a step back and we can't maybe be in their circle a lot but make sure we're praying for them that
10:06
they could figure out you know who they are that they could figure out um that they're not
10:11
following the the right way or the moral path
10:16
of being loving and kind to the people around them or even being offensive you know if you find that they they
10:22
don't care then you need that's a whole nother conversation right you still need to pray for them but then at that point
10:28
then um as much as i pray for them and even play for them i don't engage yeah yeah
10:34
i i recently um an interview came out recently um for
10:40
for the this little light of mine the light of mine podcast um that i did a while back on that we were
10:47
talking about the pray away film um and one of the sound bites or one of the
10:53
things that came out of that was uh was pray for you know um like pray don't like pray
10:59
for that for the person say to get closer to god or pray that i'm changed or my understanding is changed not
11:06
necessarily you know what i mean directly um which we've said a number of times too
11:12
um but the other thing i was going to say though is like um you know i
11:18
i you know i want to be on the other side of this statement as well too you know i
11:24
i i know that there has been times in my life when i have caused harm
11:30
and i have um maybe encouraged or led people in it like you
11:37
know what i mean like like led people in a way that um i i wouldn't do today you know like i've
11:43
come to understand things a little bit differently and in this pray away film a big part of it was these folks who were
11:50
ex-gay kind of um folks who helped people uh
11:55
like they some people call it gay conversion therapy but they're helping gay people not be gay anymore and they
12:01
had been gay before they're all not gay i mean they're all out gay people now and so it was something that didn't work
12:08
but it was something that went um went on for a long time and it caused a lot of harm to a lot of people
12:15
um and so it's like and they were they were i mean i don't believe they had an email
12:20
intention i don't believe that they set out to hurt folks uh but they did um and you
12:27
know i so i think just as much as i want to use that message when i'm with other
12:33
people um i also i also need it i i need it from
12:39
from folks too you know oh absolutely we yeah i think we all do that's where grace comes in
12:45
and our ability to i don't know let people be human because none of none of us are perfect
12:51
and hopefully we're all working towards being better or at least the being the
12:56
best uh us we can be yeah well it's uh yeah and it's and i i one
13:03
of the things we talked about too and maybe even something for you it's like do you ever
13:08
worry about how people will be impacted by like what you say and maybe they'll like
13:16
maybe like it'll be something you'll i don't know learn something different about it later do you know what i mean
13:21
like i feel like sometimes people give us a lot of power and we have a lot of power sometimes in
13:29
people's lives and experiences and we we shouldn't
13:35
you know like i i don't know i i sometimes have that challenge of like um
13:41
well we all have a a circle of influence around us i mean we don't i mean that's just how
13:47
it is you know we're a role model to a certain extent from the people that are placed around us because they're watching us
13:54
watching us for to learn things watching us to correct things watching us to you
13:59
know for all different kinds of things and so that's kind of out of our control the only thing that we can really
14:05
control is to be i believe who god created us to be to the best of our ability
14:11
you know to try to be as loving and kind and understanding to people be vulnerable when you need to be
14:16
vulnerable be strong when you need to be strong and in those moments when you feel like or you've realized that you're
14:23
overstepped or that you're incorrect go back to them and say you know i'm really sorry that wasn't that wasn't my
14:29
intention i didn't mean to hurt you or i didn't realize i was hurting you right without that last step i think
14:36
it's hard for people to move forward yeah and i think in thinking and that
14:42
too it's like and and also not i think i think part of that too is when i'm holding other people's
14:50
experiences or perception on what works well or what works doesn't in some sort
14:55
of like um like i can give that too much power too and i think maybe if i'm feeling
15:01
and you know like oftentimes you know like something i have some insecurity about that you know like i want to
15:08
talk to people and i want to have a positive impact with folks you know i want them to maybe make changes in their lives or
15:15
help them to be better um in some way in their in their life so it's like that's something
15:21
that i want to do but then also like don't necessarily really have the power to do
15:26
yet um i still need to show up like i still need to be an instrument
15:33
for you know an instrument for god so i think that's the that's like that that i think that's
15:39
that thing that i guys can shouldn't be challenged with is like okay i'm just like the instrument i'm in the channel
15:46
i'm not i'm not the the thing and that's the same thing that i is
15:52
probably important for me to recognize when i'm having that experience with other people that it's not that person
15:58
but it's you know it's coming through that person right
16:03
right i think that's good wisdom so you know one thing i struggle with is um
16:09
i can get so excited or i can get so i don't know i can see the potential in
16:15
someone and i get so excited that sometimes i commandeer their their
16:20
project or their vision or their whatever and i have to i've had to learn to be real careful about that because
16:26
when that happens um sometimes it takes away from what they're doing because i've just like thrown all of my stuff in their fray
16:34
and sometimes they'll even pick up some of that stuff think oh that's a great idea and they'll pick that up and run with it but it's not what they're
16:39
supposed to be doing they're supposed to be doing something different that's more unique to who they are and and you know it doesn't conform
16:46
to some of the things that that you know what i'm saying so i realized as as i've gotten older
16:52
and more mature and gained some wisdom that a part of being supportive and
16:58
encouraging and loving and kind to someone is to give them the space to have their own experiences
17:04
but to do my best to provide a safety space for them to have that experience
17:09
and be available for them if they come and ask me and when they do
17:15
to always be honest because if i'm not honest even if they get angry at me then i'm taken away from
17:21
both of us and and that i don't think is beneficial to any of us
17:27
yeah yeah i feel that yeah and then i think at the end of the
17:32
day you know i think it gets um like i don't know it's like as i'm getting older
17:39
um you know it's like coming to like i do i am the only one who knows my own experience and so i think sometimes
17:46
i need to take more ownership of that i mean i know there's been times in my life when i didn't take ownership of
17:53
um the choices that i was making in my life or the
17:58
inability of making choices or you know or discerning different things and it's like at the end of the day i really have
18:04
to discern for myself because i'm the only one who can you know like some other people could give me advice other
18:11
people could make suggestions but at the end of the day i'm the only one who really knows
18:16
you know and and i might not know but i do you know i'm the one doing it right
18:23
right i think it's easy for when someone gets around someone like i was being it's
18:29
easy for them to fall into oh yeah you know what i mean to just go along with it because it's just so fun and convincing and whatever and so
18:37
yeah it's important that we take ownership of our own stuff and we tell people like me when i get in there and
18:42
try and commandeer what's going on and say hey no that's cool but yeah that's not what i'm doing
18:48
yeah yeah yeah and there might be a time and place for that when you can trust somebody to kind of
18:54
give you a little bit more guidance but i think you know at some point in time it's you got to get to a place
19:01
um where you can begin to do that first like come to find that and understand
19:07
that for yourself i think in order to really like grow yeah i think i agree
19:15
i agree i i'm like i'm hoping our um are we coming across okay on your end
19:22
like am i coming across okay yeah i think i don't have any delays or hiccups over here
19:27
cool so the audio should be cute and the video hopefully too it's like it feels a little glitchy on my on my end
19:34
for some reason but um hopefully it's uh playing out okay
19:39
hopefully so how are you feeling about this being our last episode this season
19:44
a little sad actually it you know the time always flies by and and you know i just i get excited
19:51
about engaging with people and getting to have an opportunity to have a conversation with you and get to see you that's always awesome
19:58
for me but it's also challenged me a little bit and helped me also to consider some
20:03
things i hadn't considered before so i i love to learn so that kind of um
20:08
that engages me so i'm going to miss that yeah yeah yeah
20:14
yeah i mean i feel the same way too it's just like it's like yeah it's like where did the season go
20:20
um all of a sudden it just seems like it's done and i'm like oh we're 12 we're 12 episodes in and
20:27
um but yeah i mean i appreciate having it as well i feel like this is where a lot of like growth happens for
20:34
me i feel like it's where a lot of um a lot of i get a lot of opportunity i
20:41
guess to put words to uh my experience and my thoughts and things like that which is helpful um and
20:47
i think in that even for forming new ones right um and i think just coming to
20:55
a better level of acceptance i think with things and more of a comfort of not
21:02
trying to you know like this season i think i came to especially early on realizing you know how much of
21:08
what i you know i was trying to change you in some ways and there was like that little
21:14
tinge of um under there in in certain areas and and i i came to recognize that
21:21
um in our conversations very early on in this season um which just allowed me i think just to
21:27
have a little bit more ease in our conversations um whereas like
21:33
yeah well as up to that point the first few i was like a little i i noticed i was wrestling with
21:39
something but i um i didn't really know what it was you know and i felt like i was struggling
21:46
but you weren't and maybe you weren't even experiencing me as struggling but i was like i was noticing it and i was
21:52
like what what's going on here for me you know
21:57
i'm glad that you're able to work work through all that now sometimes i feel like um
22:04
we both have i don't know what you want to call it um convictions or uncomfortability or
22:09
whatever and i think we can sometimes see it or or maybe even feel it but we don't
22:16
address it so i'm glad that we were able to do that because addressing it is how we continue to
22:22
to grow and to build relationship and together and it takes
22:28
it takes some time to like to investigate that too and i think that's the thing that's been helpful is just one to have this like
22:35
weekly check-in with you i mean we do that we do that outside of this too but
22:41
um you know having that kind of regularness i think it just allows us to continue to pick up
22:47
where we left off and and build from versus kind of like starting over all
22:52
the time um which is not you know what i mean like that feeling of like not picking up where we left where we left
22:58
off where it can be harder to do the more time you have between things
23:03
so yeah right i agree i agree yeah
23:09
yes no what's it what do we um it's like it's a good thing we're coming up on the last season huh we're like
23:16
we're like okay now what no just kidding right so
23:22
yeah i mean i think that's part of it too it's just i know for me like i've been doing um you know two to three shows
23:30
three shows a week right now and so it's like yeah like figuring out like topics and you know like going from
23:37
one to the other to the other half the time i'm like did i say that already or i know i know i say a lot of the same
23:44
things over and over and over um but i i don't know that's something i just
23:50
have to trust that funny you know that's yeah yeah and you just have to trust it so
23:56
i'm not as famous as you this is my this is my big gig every week um
24:02
so and i and i enjoy it but i have been also working on some um doing some bible studies and i really
24:08
enjoy all that i'm excited for the holidays so yeah lots of lots of things happening
24:14
around both of us as different as they are i think it's important to us and it
24:19
i think it kind of molds us and shapes us and allows us to move through the seasons that we have together and learning how to grow in our
24:27
forgiveness because i think that's what we saw back to the topic here we saw the
24:32
ultimate act of love and forgiveness and for us to be able to
24:38
continue that you know if we get comfortable and we never engage in anything that's uncomfortable then we
24:43
don't have an opportunity to learn how to forgive at a deeper level so i think the fact that you're in a
24:48
public space and you're engaging more with people and and you're more vulnerable because you're in that space
24:55
i think that gives you an opportunity to not only get hit with something but to have an opportunity to
25:02
experience as well as learn to forgive at a deeper level so you know for me it's a little
25:07
different but the same because i engage locally here pretty well um in my community i'm always out and
25:13
about um and yeah but if if we don't then i feel i'm worried that especially as i
25:19
get older that i don't want to get caught in a rut because i think that every day is
25:24
precious every moment is a gift to me from god and i won't i don't want to waste it i
25:30
want to enjoy it i want to savor it i want to use it to be a blessing to someone else if possible
25:37
and so i don't want to get caught up in unforgiveness and i certainly don't want to offend or hurt somebody so
25:42
if i do that i hopefully people around me will say girlfriend you just were rude to me or you just said something i
25:48
didn't like or do you even know what you just said to me i want people to engage in that so that i can
25:54
fix it you know definitely
26:00
yeah i i i was like trying to figure out like next season i think like how we could do something
26:06
different oh so are we going to brainstorm right now i'm
26:11
live because all right no all right i don't know i think it would be
26:16
interesting for us to have i know we're always wanting to hear from folks more have conversation with folks more so i
26:23
wonder how it would be if we maybe had guests i know we've brought it up a couple of times but maybe we could
26:28
come up with like a series of folks that we could either interview or just have
26:34
conversations with um whether it's other like duos or um individual folks um
26:43
it could be cute i know we've talked about it a little bit here and there but hadn't really like glinged on to either
26:51
like clean like yeah that's what we should do right right well i'm totally open for anything i haven't had anything land
26:58
either that i'm like oh we just really need to do this or that um but yeah i think change is good
27:04
and so time to mix it up a little bit yeah i think it would be good maybe we
27:10
could have somebody come in and talk yeah it might be interesting to talk about to get folks and you mentioned this
27:16
actually in between the last two seasons but about talking more about like
27:22
like i don't know maybe there is some like um lgbtq like trans
27:27
education or questions or information we could learn um you know from some maybe we could
27:34
have like a guest someone who's good at talking about that um who we can ask questions with or you
27:40
can ask you know what i mean you can ask questions and it might not feel so like personal or
27:46
i don't know it just might be an interesting thing for us to to do oh
27:52
i'm hoping to try it elizabeth is on sending us a heart
27:57
thank you elizabeth hi elizabeth i was like somebody somebody say hello hello
28:04
okay yes so i'm open i'm open to doing that if
28:10
there's if there's folks who want to be a guest on our show let us know we'll put you through the paces first
28:16
and uh all right and then and then uh let's let you come on board with us
28:22
um yeah you know i was i really i was hoping on this journey together that not
28:27
only would we be able to build a relationship together but we'd be able to understand
28:32
one another and and i don't know love is so complete you know
28:39
and i and i feel like as individual as we are and unique as we are that there's
28:44
those spaces that we need to be able to connect but i want us to be able to
28:50
encourage one another um to be the best we we can be and i want
28:56
us to have conversations about you know the things that i maybe do that you don't understand or
29:03
why you why do i do it especially if it's something that you don't think i should be doing why is that important to you
29:08
i think those are conversations that we should have you know same thing for you there are things that maybe that you do
29:14
that i don't understand that i'm like why is that so important to you and if i can understand um the the reasoning
29:20
behind it um maybe it's an obvious an opportunity for both of us to to learn from one
29:26
another and maybe go a little deeper you know i was just reading recently in my bible that sometimes um when we're
29:33
pruned we'll get pruned at a certain level and we get stuck there if we don't continue to dig or to continue to desire
29:39
to be more and when we start to move forward they're going to prune us back more because that's the only way we can be fruitful
29:45
in our lives so i don't want us to get stuck here in this space i want our life
29:51
to in our relationship to be fruitful i i want it to be edifying to not only the two of us but to
29:57
the folks that are placed around us so that people can learn more about
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who i am as a christian who you are also as a christian and and as bonnie
30:08
and me as tina you know who are we what are our core values why are those
30:13
things that that um we hold so dear so important to us you know what's what's the what's what's
30:19
behind all that so i i think those are good conversations i don't know how to put that in motion in a platform like this or if
30:26
it's something even that we should but my hope is that i would like to have those conversations
30:32
because i'm i'm willing and that doesn't mean we always have to agree just just saying we don't always
30:39
have to agree we just need to have the conversation right right well i i'm wondering if it would be i
30:45
wonder if we had yeah i was thinking um like
30:50
like it i think sometimes we might struggle with coming up with the questions or going going there right i
30:57
wonder if there's a way that we can either like i know they have those card games where you can pull out a name and
31:03
or like pull out a question or whatever and you answer it so i was wondering if there's something like that that we could do
31:09
together um or and or if maybe like um my coach like i
31:15
was thinking you know bob kaiser who we've met before and this is just like just what kind of came to mind but um
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he does like a lot of media like mediation and like conflict resolution kind of things um kind of being in that
31:28
that middle space with like two different people and i know we're not like in a conflict or anything like that
31:34
but i wonder if if there would be ways that he could prompt us and facilitate a conversation that would
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pull out um more than what we're kind of been pulling out on our own
31:48
oh maybe that would be yeah i'm open i'm open to that
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i'm sure bob would be bob might be open to it or might have some thoughts about it so i'll
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i'll check in with them to see i know we're having this conversation on uh
32:05
during our podcast but i guess folks can know what's going on with us and kind of where we're at
32:13
um so i don't know should we i really thought
32:19
we'd have more to say on this topic but i you know i'm glad we're not i'm glad we're kind of in agreement on this topic
32:24
this is an important topic so yeah i mean i think it's definitely something that to continue to kind of
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meditate on and um i think it's just a practice that um
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i can find really helpful um when i when i can choose to kind of you
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know put it out there yeah say the prayer i guess i don't know if anyone's interested or
32:47
not but um i did a little homework because i wanted to make sure that i had contacts this week because i didn't have
32:52
contacts last week and um you know the jesus saying this
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um and um forgiving them was a fulfillment of a prophecy of the
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prophet isaiah that was found in um uh isaiah 53 12. it even talked about
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the disbursement of his of his belongings so i thought that was pretty incredible
33:16
because isaiah's prophecy between the end of the old testament and the beginning of the new
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testament was 400 years so it has been at least 433 years
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since isaiah spoke those words and for them to be
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come out that just confirms with me that he was who he said he was and anyway just uh uh some additional
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information when i was looking this up another reason why i think forgiveness is is the key for
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all of us yeah and i was you know i i was just reflecting too in that and and it took
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me back to the idea that like so like i and maybe i'm just wondering like
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i have talked a lot about the idea of people who unintentionally harm me or that like the unintentional or ignorant
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kind of harm um maybe all harm like maybe all of it is
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that you know like even if somebody is like actively like just mean and doesn't give
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any f's and like do you know what i mean like like
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jesus exactly yeah like it was more like it was more obvious like maybe didn't
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care i mean i'm to some degree i think there was probably um a misguidedness right like there was
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some sort of like oh well but there's always a reason for the misguidedness in this particular
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instance the misguidedness came from um a place of greed and and fear that the
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way they were doing things um was going to be interrupted you know these guys were the
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government the jewish government the high priest the leaders of all that their lives were going to change if this
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was the messiah right so it changes everything huh
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yeah yeah so so these people were intentionally being i mean this whole thing was plotted it wasn't an accidental thing
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they they found the the guy in the group they hired the guy in the group they they plotted the whole thing out they
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brought a lot of people to get jesus because he'd gotten away from him before you know this was all planned out you
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know he had six jesus had six um hearings or
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court proceedings whatever you want to call on before his actual crucifixion three in the church and three and for
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the with the romans so this was all intentional the romans were like really
35:44
so but yeah so yeah anyway sorry no no don't apologize that's
35:53
that's again it's just more context to it all right yeah
35:58
yes that's why i love love reading the my bible i'm pulling out all that context
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to get more and more of it and and i know i know that like
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um was i gonna say with that
36:16
i don't remember what i was gonna say just something about like the the literal like being able
36:22
to get the whole context and it seems like the more that you read and the more you look into
36:28
something the more it just kind of you know um i don't know
36:34
it um do you know what i'm trying to say yeah all the pieces come together the picture
36:40
gets more clear you know each each step of that you're going to be able to learn something and glean something for yourself but the
36:46
more the pieces come together the more full you can see the the truth in the context you know if you just looked up
36:53
the names of these folks there's so much here you know the the guy that he had the first trial with was related to the
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guy under caesar augustus and you know what i'm saying so there's so much
37:05
um that brings it all together and to see that it was laid out in the old testament before even jesus walked the
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earth 400 years that just blows my mind so
37:16
anyway sorry yeah no i mean i think the idea of like coming to know like no
37:23
more of for i think sometimes with some of this stuff i don't i'm just i just curious about that idea
37:29
of like digging deeper i don't know it's what we do i'm just
37:34
processing that a little bit because yeah i think you know i could just say forgive them for what they know not what
37:40
they do you know the people who put jesus on a cross and just like stop there like i
37:46
get it right um but um you can continue and like but we
37:52
can continue to read more and and dig deeper into that and then it it maybe becomes fuller or
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i don't know how how what's your experience with that i think fuller is a good word because i
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think you know i can i can see that the surface oh yeah jesus forgave these
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folks for all this horrible stuff they were doing to him but understanding why why did they do it to them
38:18
you know what was that what happened to those folks that he had around him that loved him so much
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you know why wasn't there a a battle and it says that why wasn't there a battle
38:29
you know why did he have to have six um
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court hearings or you know why did he have to have six there's a reason behind that why were
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these guys so upset when he came on the scene saying he was the messiah why didn't they recognize him you know
38:44
that's that's an uh another thing why did they um um
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proclaim him to be the king of the jews the romans well you know there's a whole lot of questions there then if you ask those
38:56
questions um you're gonna find you know laura it's all about the questions
39:02
you know the more questions that you ask if you look for them in to the bible or
39:08
in the um jewish history you're going to find a lot of the answers
39:13
you know um so that's kind of i enjoy doing that to a point and it helps me to
39:19
go a little deeper because sometimes their why could be the reason why i've been struggling with that same thing for so long
39:25
you know oh i didn't realize i had an issue in this area you know and so it gives me some insight
39:31
into my own heart as to where i'm at and how i'm doing yeah which i think causes us to be more
39:37
likely and able to forgive i think because we can come to understand more of the context we can see the humanity
39:45
in the person or see what was really going on or come to understand what was
39:50
really going on um that that's useful and so i i definitely know what that's like to do that with
39:56
myself to kind of like continue to kind of like you know um i guess study myself if you will and why
40:03
i'm doing the things that i'm doing you know trying to understand my behavior and my decisions or or even
40:10
like being able to let go of some of those things with other relationships um
40:15
that i have that sort of thing you know because like you can go to the bible and you can read and you can get more context but you can't often go to a
40:23
parent um or or a family member and ask them for more questions right like sometimes you can
40:30
but sometimes you can't um so i understand the value and the need
40:35
and the desire to that for that i think we have to be okay with with who
40:42
we are you know what i mean and we have to realize that um
40:47
we're not perfect we're on a journey and we have to allow ourselves some grace um
40:53
in that process i think sometimes we have a hard time allowing ourselves some grace um and you know i desire to forgive
41:01
and i feel like i'm i'm a forgiving loving person but well let me give you an example here
41:06
or throw myself under the bus okay so you know i'm a christian you guys all know that i'm a christian
41:12
um i feel like i'm a giver and i like to help people and do kind things for people
41:18
and um i have a beautiful neighborhood that i live in my i we all of our my our
41:23
neighbors we know each other we talk with one another we walk together we eat food together i mean we're just like a
41:28
little family here in my neighborhood i just love it well one of our neighbors got sick i didn't
41:35
know right away i found out because my other neighbor had i said oh i'm taking some food over
41:40
to them i'm like oh what's going on she goes oh i heard they're sick just heard she was sick
41:46
and she went right over and brought him a thing of soup set it on their doorstep walked away and texted him hey i left
41:52
you some soup on the door i was like oh my gosh see that was not my first thought as a as a christian person who
41:58
wants to be a good neighbor that was not my first thought well then a few weeks later another one of the neighbors my
42:04
neighbor one of my neighbors is here from canada couldn't bring their car they had to drive so they're just driving their motorcycle one of my other
42:11
neighbors said hey we have an extra car park it in your driveway here's the keys it's not got insurance enjoy
42:17
i didn't think i'm doing that i have a car in my driveway too and so i felt like those were opportunities that god
42:23
said to me look there's a lot of opportunity that you can be a blessing to the people around you i mean they're taken care of so they didn't
42:29
need my car they didn't mean my soup but the fact that i didn't even think about it
42:35
was like i would have much of them had say you guys stopped bringing a soup you know no i have a car i don't need
42:42
everybody's car i would rather have had that versus you know what i mean so and no
42:47
condemnation i'm not beating up myself but i'm like okay lord help me to be a little more sensitive
42:52
to when my neighbors say what's happening that i can say you know what i have i can help meet that need if you
42:58
need it i'm happy to give that and that's an area that i'm working on a deeper area because you know
43:05
cars are a little more is it harder to hand over keys to for some of us than yeah soup you know yes so it's like okay
43:13
this is an area i'm praying about lord help me to be sensitive to that and when the opportunity presents myself realize
43:18
that everything i have is owned by i believe is owned by god it's given to me by him
43:23
um that it's for me to share and i need to share so i'm learning to share still gotcha
43:29
yes we all can probably stand to do that a little bit more yeah
43:36
so we are at that uh 45 minute mark um so
43:41
so we're i guess we're you know we're done with this episode and the season
43:46
um yeah and those of you who didn't speak up during our brainstorming session
43:52
feel free to do that now and brainstorm with us on your comments no matter what platform that you're
43:58
listening to us on because we really would like to hear from you and we really want to be a
44:03
resource for you guys if we can yes for sure and i apologize
44:09
for any sort of like sound or glitchy things that may or may not have happened
44:15
um and traveling i you know i sometimes never know what i'm gonna get when it comes to internet connections and i
44:21
don't right know that it was the best one today so i'm hoping that didn't uh uh you know
44:27
yeah caused too much of a ruckus for folks you didn't freeze too much on me just a couple times just a couple of times huh
44:34
a couple times all right well um stay tuned folks we were um you know
44:39
like team and i are gonna be actually hanging out in person um over the next few weeks we're gonna
44:44
be like cooking up some stuff maybe we'll do some lives while we're together hanging out
44:50
um or whatnot but at this point we don't have a set time of when the next season is going to start or what's going to
44:56
happen next but just keep an eye out and then you're out and uh i don't know whatever else you can out
45:03
and feel free to reach out because we still want exactly yes do you want to say goodbye
45:09
yep you guys are awesome thank you so much for allowing us to just have a little bit of your time and and to share
45:15
a little bit of what's going on in your life know that we love you we're praying for you guys and we are available if you
45:21
need us have an awesome awesome awesome break from our season
45:27
all right happy holidays bye-bye bye grace podcast
45:34
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