The Elephant in the Room 🐘

This season we push the depths of our relationship even further. Tackling the difficult conversations that we fear may separate us. 

This weeks conversation touched on our personal beliefs of Christianity.  We asked some of the questions that we hesitate to ask one another and listen with open hearts.  These conversations aren't for the purpose of changing our minds but learning how to love and support one another with a new level of intimacy.

Tina, a conservative Christian woman and Bonnie Violet, a trans gender queer drag queen have an anti-cancel culture conversation. While many family members are choosing to no longer speak, we have chosen to sit at the table and engage in difficult conversation to find peace and restoration.

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Transcript

0:07
[Music] is [Music]
0:23
[Music] between us says
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[Music]
0:40
hey everybody oh my goodness it's been a while i'm clear frank and i'm your
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co-host of splintered grace here with bonnie violet hi everyone so great to be back i'm
0:52
bonnie violet i'm a transgender queer spiritual drag artist and digital chaplain and
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splintered grace oh yeah i was supposed to say some stuff wasn't i right
1:04
who are you hopefully you guys know me i'm a mature christian woman that lives in
1:10
arizona and i'm excited to be here with all of you guys it's been a while yeah for folks that are new this is uh
1:17
season three um so we're yeah so it's season three so
1:23
you think we got it all you know it's still got its bugs i guess too um we love we'd love to have folks we do go
1:31
live so if you're watching us live please feel free to say hello um join us in the conversation hey kayla
1:37
thank you hello kayla thanks so much for joining us today um just like that people can participate
1:44
with us and we'll show you your comments up on the screen and try to engage with you as much as we can
1:50
um yeah so um how have you been tina oh my goodness
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um i've been great i had an awesome summer um kind of uneventful still trying to get
2:02
back in the swing of things after all the changes we've had over the last year but but yeah it's been great but i've missed
2:08
um seeing you especially because i get to see you live here um so i'm excited
2:14
to be back so how about you what'd you do over the summer anything fun yeah i mean lots i mean it's been a long
2:20
it seems like a long time there's a lot that's happened and you and i have been in the same
2:26
like room the last time we were able to meet up in idaho and have some lunch
2:34
with you and your two of your daughters and your granddaughter and a cousin and
2:39
cousin yeah yeah it was a lot of fun it was a lot of fun that was the highlight of our summer
2:46
right you escaped the arizona heat to the idaho heat yeah i was yeah
2:54
it was it was uh we had a great time but it was definitely almost as hot there as it was here so it wasn't much of a reprieve and
3:01
we did have a lot of challenges along the way but you know family road trips oh my
3:06
goodness that's the first time we had been on a family road trip in years and uh we had a great time even with all
3:13
the crazy things that happened and and being able to connect with you as a highlight for everybody because we
3:18
hadn't seen you in a while so it was it was a lot of fun yeah it was it was go ahead i was going
3:24
to say but you had some other things going on besides hanging out with us in uh idaho
3:30
yeah yeah i mean well i mean first of all like um i wouldn't have went to idaho if you wouldn't have like invited
3:37
me and that kind of sparked i think a big part of what um my last month or so has been about you
3:44
know like i came out to my parents and talked with them about being transgender
3:49
um and then was able to then go home and visit with them um with most of them
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um and um you know just reconnect and then get to see you and i don't think i would have
4:00
um made that i don't know that i would have made that track if you wouldn't have kind of put
4:06
that idea in my head um i mean at first i was like nope that's cute
4:12
are you doing it but then something in my like heart was like you you gotta go
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yeah we were glad to see you all of us kayla says i cannot imagine arizona heat
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in south carolina it's been over a hundred with the heat index oh my gosh let me tell you south
4:30
carolina heat is different than our heat south carolina i think has a lot of humidity and i don't do humidity at all
4:38
so when i go to your neck of the woods i can't bear it at like 80. so
4:44
i can't imagine what it would be like at 100 so yeah it's definitely a different kind of
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a heat here dry heat versus humid heat is yes difference especially since we both grew
4:56
up grew up in kind of more of a dry heat yeah yeah idaho has been mostly dry but
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i tell you when we were back there i thought oh my gosh i was grateful that the house that we rented had air conditioning because i know not everyone
5:08
has air conditioning there and it was like man it was there were some days but we had a great time
5:13
we wouldn't change anything definitely yeah it was a lot of fun yeah so that's i mean that's the big
5:19
thing other than the big move i'm moving i'm moving out of here in six days um
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and wow i know it's so crazy it's happening so fast um and for folks who don't know i'm gonna
5:32
be like kind of traveling around a bit so like i'm going out to baltimore and
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then dc and then um who knows where i'll end up but um randy
5:43
says hot is hot lol it's like after certain point it's just hot
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that's right that is right on so we um this being our third season um we were
5:57
like so what do we want to focus on this season because our first season one in the beginning you know was very much
6:04
kind of talking about um our relationship when we were younger and kind of how we've
6:09
forgiven and kind of restored our relationship and then last season i felt like we were just
6:15
like in conversation with each other like we were kind of like just
6:20
being in relationship with one another yeah yeah sharing life together yeah and so then this season we thought
6:26
well how can we maybe go a little deeper or explore another um
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part of our relationship and so we were talking about um
6:37
talking a little bit about the differences a little bit more um and the things that um
6:42
potentially separate us um either have separated us or may continue to separate
6:48
us or uh for me i think sometimes it's like what am i afraid um
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like what am i afraid might be said or thought or shared that
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would kind of like i don't know blow this all up yeah yeah well i i have to tell you and i hope i'm
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correct still that i find uh comfort knowing that you and i can talk
7:12
even about things that we don't see eye to eye on and we've made a commitment to love each other
7:19
because we both agree that love is a choice but over the seasons and
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through my our break time here the folks i did engage with that i see you know
7:30
that some of the topics were how do you guys do that how do you guys have differences or different way of looking at things
7:38
but find a common common ground enough to just love each other and so i think as we talk about some of
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these things uh we both made a commitment um to not be offended because i know
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sometimes that happens and i think there's things that both of us just decide we're not going to talk about when we have our conversations
7:56
and so it'll be interesting to see and we want to be open for you guys so if you guys have
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questions we know some of you have had similar situations with your family where you guys can't mesh
8:08
and we want to share whatever we can with you be it our experience be it whatever wisdom we've gained over the
8:14
years to maybe i don't know guide you a little bit or at least share so that maybe you
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can glean something off of it that'll move you in the right direction because we believe bonnie and i believe that
8:26
we're better together my church believes that where i worship so i believe that in this instance also
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but i believe that we're also better as a family because god put us in the family for a reason
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and so i don't want anyone to be at large from their family yeah so anyway my two cents for the day
8:44
yeah well i think i think the other big thing is too is like um like we were talking about this too it's like there's
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probably going to be a time when we might be offended and we might even like raise our voice a little bit or kind of
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get a little like froggy in our throat or you know there might be some sort of tension or you
9:02
might see some sort of challenge in our ability to i don't know convey what what's going on
9:08
with us and that might this might be a little passion and it will probably potentially have some emotion in it and
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so um we've again it's like it's you know so much in relationships we think that
9:19
those are those are markers that you're supposed to stop having the conversation you know
9:25
conflict is a really healthy part of a lot of relationships so
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um it might even not necessarily mean that we're going to conflict but we're kind of going in that direction and
9:37
you know not being afraid of conflict i guess yeah yeah and it's got to be
9:42
a growth conflict it's not just just um trying to over scream over one another
9:48
or to be right yeah no conflict for the purpose of resolution
9:54
yeah i don't think that'll be too much yeah i don't think you and i don't have
9:59
that problem but i know sometimes people just want to be right right maybe i'll be mad that
10:05
you don't drink diet coke but i doubt it and maybe you do i don't even know that but
10:12
that's funny yeah well there you are i thought for a second you were gone i was like oh what am i going
10:18
to say to all these people yeah there was like a little bit of a uh glitch there a little bit of a glitch
10:24
that was like whew it's not on the first one i can't do it all by myself right welcome bruce bruce says great
10:30
conversation so glad that you could join us today bruce so we thought um i was for whatever reason
10:37
i've always been drawn to this elephant and mouse kind of um figuring you know like like a
10:44
companionship of an elephant and a mouse they're not supposed to be and so i kind of got on this like elephant
10:49
like thing and tina's been humoring me and kind of i think playing with the
10:55
elephant idea and so then that's kind of how we got to and talking about what are those differences what are those things that
11:01
we kind of avoid maybe talking about or going in deep going more deep with um like the
11:08
elephant in the room uh that way i could use the elephant so so we made that work
11:14
go ahead yeah yeah and uh you know we feel like um we probably have numerous elephants in
11:21
the room but for the biggest one that link i think that we have been i have been talked to about is about
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my christianity and and i know you've shared a little bit about
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um how you have people that tell you that that are very negative towards you and that you can't be a christian
11:39
because of how you present yourself is that incorrect yeah no no that's really and i think
11:44
that's probably somewhat of my fear and it's not like a new fear but this idea that like
11:50
somewhere like there's gonna be like a boo like i'm one of you know like you're
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like i'm one of those christians too which i know is like like you know that i'm kind of poking
12:01
fun at it but there is like a really um big kind of fear that there's some sort
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like it's hard for me to i think sometimes fully trust
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um i don't know if that's fair to say but there's no i don't know what it is
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you know but there's just kind of that fear and maybe it's just because it's happened before
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um and i tend to hear like you said i tend to hear from a lot of
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christians who tell me that i'm doing it all wrong and i'm going to hell and i need to
12:35
repent and there's nothing godly or jesus-like in me and
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um some people even said they just i deserve to die um so and those those are the people that i
12:46
hear from most um well everyone shouldn't say most but i hear a lot from
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folks and on some of my videos and some of the things i create the only voices i hear from at least in type
12:59
are are those folks that have a very strong opinion about my existence whether it's me for being
13:05
in drag when i'm in drag or me being transgender or you know i'm not even sure where
13:12
what parts with yeah yeah yeah
13:19
first of all i'm i'm really sorry that that's been your experience and i'm sure you're not the only person who's had
13:25
that experience so i apologize um and i will continue to
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earn your trust as god allows me to understand and to become more like him
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god's call is love it's just love it doesn't say you love these people if
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i don't see that anywhere in the bible and um i i we've went through this first
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season one um the transition point that we had and and the the place where we had to
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realize and understand what love was for and to get past some of these preconceived ideas i know you had
13:59
preconceived ideas as to who i was and i hadn't initiated an opportunity to show
14:05
you anything different and so that's been an ongoing process
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but at the end of the day we do have differences in the way that we believe and that doesn't mean that one's more of
14:17
a christian than the other that means our journey is different and we're in different places on our journey
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um you shared uh i can't remember i'm pretty sure it was first season
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um your salvation story i've shared my salvation story
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and so from that point on the journey that we have with christ is is ours
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to pursue or not pursue i know a lot of folks who have had an encounter with god
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or a salvation experience and then chose not to continue to pursue god and that's not
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who you are yes yeah i'm definitely still pursuing and
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seeking god and a better or fuller understanding god a god in which
15:02
you know i believe is part of my current creation i don't believe god has stopped creating me
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um and like god is a part of my now creation and the person that i'm becoming um and so like
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and sometimes i because i've had that experience i really believe that i've
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had a relationship and a connection with with god you know some people call it different things i like to i like to
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call god my creator right now i really like that really he's your creator you and i can agree on that he's our creator both
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of us yeah so that's how i like to so i like to really kind of use that word right now um and i think also the
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attribute of grace that is talked about um you know in christianity and with um
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with the god of the bible you know grace being the um you know the the idea that we don't have
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to earn our value and that there's no way for us to lose our value or to gain anything
16:00
more and that's something that's always been difficult for me to kind of like live into
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um okay kayla says i am also trans i am also an
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ordained minister god created me exactly how i am this is something the lgbtqia plus community
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hears a lot i'm so glad you two are speaking about this god is love
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god is love that is true thanks so much thank you for that kayla yes definitely i'm glad that you could
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join join us today um and then king lotus boy is on
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hi king loves boy says hi to both me and tina
16:43
so excited for joining us today i finally got to meet king lotus boy recently in the flesh and that was so so
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so great did you say yesterday yesterday yep oh awesome
16:58
they came up from san jose and i exchanged some drag items because i'm getting rid of everything
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and then she like uh i guess was like got me a tea and we sat
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and we had a conversation that's awesome it was great i was glad that you came up spend time with me
17:18
that is awesome it's going to be it's going to be weird having you logging in from all over the place
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i know right it's like i don't even know where i'm going to be next week that's awesome it's scary to me but exciting for you
17:31
another little little difference in who we are so
17:37
yeah like i'm in an airport bathroom or something i don't know like hiding i don't know who
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i don't know if you can get an internet connection there right right [Laughter]
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so where do we go from here huh well i don't know how deep you want to
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go into what our belief systems are as far as our our christianity or not
18:01
but i think there's that's kind of a surfacing we truth be told
18:07
bonnie and i um we don't we have great conversations
18:13
about our faith about who we are um we we encourage one another and and
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share things together um but we're we don't bible thump together i don't know how else to say it
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yeah um so you know i i'm a i'm a woman of god and
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i do read my bible i live by every word the bible says i think it's truth
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and i'm working really hard to apply it every aspect of it to my life
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trying to be as much like jesus as i can i know that that bonnie is on a pursuit
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also and there's a lot of common areas that we can come together
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but when we talk we just talk and some of the foundational things in me come out without a address of where it's at
19:00
in the bible and there's wisdom that that bonnie has that she can share that that i'm not
19:05
sure if she knows always if it comes out of the bible or not but sometimes i'll find it in there when i'm looking yeah so we we have some great great
19:12
conversations so yeah and like for me you know like i know earlier in the week you'd ask me
19:18
like what do i use for my guidepost is i think what you or [Music]
19:23
my guide with like um like you have the bible so what is it that that i use and
19:30
for me i um i i just believe there's a lot of sacred text a lot of
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god um divinely inspired literature and words and things that are
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spoken and so i kind of just you know
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gain what i can from whatever i can and kind of check in with myself if i you
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know i don't know i just feel like i have like a pretty good connection with myself at least right now in my life and
20:00
um my alignment with god is we're in the same alignment so i feel like as
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information comes in i can kind of listen to my gut and trust which
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is often to me like i think that's how god or the spirit in me speaks to me um
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or you know tells me stuff i guess if i can trust it and listen to it and so i
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might think then that i can kind of use around discernment when it comes to um
20:28
having a difficult situation with a friend or a family member or just doing
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life um and uh i get a lot of that from just different people in my life too you know
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i think elders are really um powerful so basically anyone who's just
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ahead of me even if it's just a little bit um on some journey whether it's like
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my spiritual journey whether it's my trans journey whether it's my you know like all these sorts of things that
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i think elders are a really big part but they can only take us so far i think um
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and uh yeah i mean i i guess that's kind of what came to mind just now any thoughts on what i just
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yeah i you know testimony is powerful um and this is an area that i know that
21:18
we don't agree on so i guess the question is um because of those that area that we
21:23
don't i mean i i to me bible is it
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i'll take wisdom from people that i'm doing life with people that know me people who know my heart
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i'll even allow outside influence sometimes of people so that i can look and i can gain
21:39
perspective but at the end of the day if it doesn't line up with my bible then i say no
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but i have a question for you if you don't mind me asking because you know that about me and i know you know that about me before this
21:51
moment does does that keep you from coming to me
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with things sometimes and it's okay it just is just curious no i mean i think i think part of that
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is just the idea of like if you think of like okay who's what's a bumble what's a bible thumping thumping christian and
22:12
what is that what does that really mean and a lot of that is left up to interpretation
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um and so it kind of just depends on you know and and some of that is again
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it's just kind of like the how i saw or how i saw
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um the bible or was told about the bible before you know and so um i know that like
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um yeah i mean sometimes i sometimes i wonder yeah like what are the
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yeah what are the boundaries but um like you know like where does i don't know because i don't i'm not
22:48
against the bible i don't think like the bible is is bad i don't know yeah i just think it's the be all in doll
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um and so i i don't really have a problem with you
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choosing the bible to um live your life by you know what i mean yeah yeah
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we all get to we all get to we all get to connect with god in whatever way i think works for us
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um and i really like i don't know i just like i just don't
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i don't know where i'm going with that it's all good so but it's not a hindrance to you you would seek counsel
23:25
from me still correct even though you know that i'm i'm a i read my bible oh yeah but yeah see
23:33
that's my that's my point we can have different i did and i would also seek counsel from you for different things in
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my life yeah because because you know me yeah yeah and i would hope that anything
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that i would say to you you would you would pray about and ask the holy spirit okay is this
23:51
something for me i appreciate antina's input but is this something for me as i would you okay i appreciate
23:58
bonnie's input is this something that that's for me it's something that i can use that can move me to that place that you've called me to
24:04
right so so yeah i was just curious about that because i know that's and i would never want you to feel like you couldn't
24:10
answer and i would never want you to say auntie and i don't agree with that thanks anyway yeah
24:16
yeah i know i mean i don't necessarily think and i know that i've said things that you found helpful um i think i've had some experiences and
24:24
um you know i have my own perspective that comes with some wisdom just like yours and um you know get to share that
24:30
with one another and that's part of why we're like in relationship with one another and i
24:35
like i think that the biggest thing is is like it's this is like it is difficult i think
24:40
it's been i've been my head has been i've been really putting a lot of head space or a lot of energy into starting
24:47
the season with you and really trying to get a sense of like um and there's just been lots of
24:53
opportunities for me to have the um the christian who doesn't love me
25:00
the christian who almost sometimes even loves me in a way that i experience it
25:06
as hate um and i'm trying to not let that um that paint everything or
25:15
even paint my um you know christianity and my relationship with being
25:21
a christian or christian adjacent or whatever it is you know that i'm still kind of figuring out but to some degree
25:27
those things do challenge me with being a christian
25:32
is the way that things are um put in that way you know and you know recently was in the castro and there were people
25:39
there telling us we were going to hell um and jesus loves you um you know like in the same statement
25:46
and uh so um i don't know it's just i think that's some of the the parts that i struggle
25:51
with is when some christians feel like they need to tell you that you're living your life wrong and that you don't have a
25:58
relationship with god or like when they don't like you don't get to like you know just like you and you don't do
26:04
this but like somebody else don't get to tell me what my relationship with
26:09
god is you know i'm the only one who really knows what that's all about i may have people
26:15
like yourself that i'm in deep trusting relationship with that i can come to you about things and i might be conflicted
26:22
or or confused or uncertain and i might be able to ask you for some sort of like
26:28
perception or understanding of what's going on or whatever but for the most part just not
26:35
giving unsolicited um advice yes yeah yeah or opinions
26:42
or opinions yeah or fear yeah i'm not a big proponent of
26:49
salvation by fear i i just don't think that's how it works um i know there was a time and we grew
26:56
up in a time where a lot of that happened but that i just i just don't think there's a place for it in in uh
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who god is so yeah and that was and that's one thing like for me like so there was i think one of
27:09
the things that's been most um of a touchy spot for me at least probably a couple of months ago when we
27:15
first started converse started this conversation about this next season for me was this idea that um
27:22
maybe like because some people will translate or understand the bible to be the fact that god didn't create
27:29
trans people that god hasn't created me as a trans person because it's not in their understanding
27:36
of the bible right i can see trans people in the bible i can see our stories and i can see us
27:43
spoke about and i know that god created us however some people can read the same
27:49
text and not take that from that and so for me that's where um
27:55
where sometimes it'll be like um i don't know i think they yeah that's that's just something that i find really
28:01
difficult because i think it i don't think you can believe that god
28:08
is not a part of the creation of me now as somebody who was assigned
28:13
male at birth who was on hormones who identifies as trans like that god is created has created me
28:21
and continues to create me in this journey this is a direct result of my
28:27
connection with god the god of the bible the god of my understanding all of that and so
28:34
if there isn't any room for
28:39
that in somebody's understanding of god i have a hard time feeling how i can
28:44
exist with them however um i want to understand
28:50
why or how somebody could love or be kind or whatever to me and
28:56
i'm not saying this is you but a lot of christians can even want to be loved loving and kind to trans people or lgbtq
29:04
people but then not really believe that that's the way it has created them to be
29:10
or believe they need to repent and be different from that in order to be
29:15
like with god um in the correct way or something like that and so for me i think that's the
29:22
thing that i really um grapple with a little bit um not for myself personally necessarily
29:29
because i feel good about my connection with god it's just that
29:34
you know gobbly goo gobbling goop i you know i think it's important as we
29:40
read god's word um that whatever perspective we come into god's word with
29:47
that we're always open to ask ourselves and the holy spirit questions
29:52
it's when we stop asking those questions of the holy spirit um that challenge ourselves that's when
29:59
we stop learning and we stop being transformed because the bible is a transformational
30:05
book it transforms us from a place of of sin to a place of redemption and then and
30:12
forward and it just blesses and brings fullness to our life
30:18
um so for me when i read and i don't know some of you folks that know me and interact with me on a
30:25
regular basis hear me say i don't want to always live in the sunday school version
30:31
of the bible because i think we can we can take a literal translation or we can take all
30:36
those stories that we've learned in sunday school and we just grab on to that and that's what we live with all the time
30:43
but there's more to the story so when i read that story and now i'm an adult and i'm not a 10
30:49
year old or a 12 year old or whoever you're old i don't have the flannel board in front of me with someone
30:54
explaining it to me now when i sit here and i read this story and i ask questions about it because i
31:01
don't know i have questions when i read this story like i'll just give you a crazy example
31:07
um david and goliath i think everyone has heard that story okay david threw the rocks goliath got
31:12
killed he got hit in the face with the stone because david had a slingshot okay everyone knows that story so when you
31:18
read that story it's really hard because you learned that in sunday school and you saw that on the flannel board
31:23
to hear any other version than what you heard in sunday school but ask some questions why did david run
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towards the giant why did david pick up these many stones and not 10 or not 15 or get a whole bag
31:38
full you know why did it have to be a philistine
31:43
you know if we're not asking these questions about what we're reading we can't be
31:49
changed yeah so no matter who's reading it from whatever perspective i think
31:55
there's always questions that can be asked that can lead us to that place of
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revelation right and there's plenty of people that i know that can kind and i think that's part of
32:06
it too it's just like um again it's like kind of the translation of your or your understanding of the
32:12
bible now like for instance i grew up with a white jesus
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you know i like that jesus was white and everyone in it was white and that was maybe not
32:24
necessarily said sometimes it was in pictures um but i never really thought about race
32:31
or ethnicity or anything like that when it came to the bible until i started
32:37
existing and living in a world in which not everybody looked like me and talked like me and act like me and then i was
32:44
able to hear them read the bible and hear them talk about the bible and i heard there were
32:50
you know there was a black trans woman you know or an ethiopian eunuch or there were um you know like jesus was brown
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skinned you know these from the middle east like you know what i mean like those sorts of things that again just
33:02
add a little bit more um context or more um
33:08
to it that it's still kind of the truth of what was there but it's fuller now because you can see it through
33:15
a a different lens well i encourage you to keep looking
33:20
through a lens and asking god to continue to re reveal his truths because it's in that pursuit
33:27
it's in that pursuit that those desires that we carry in our heart that can be manifested and fulfilled in
33:33
us as long as we're seeking there's a promise that we're going to find and we want to find
33:40
god and his purpose for our lives so you know i encourage you keep keep seeking i'm going to keep seeking
33:47
yeah i mean i see i'm i say i'm a seeker because my understanding of god
33:52
at some point in time god fails me and it's not really god that fails me but it's my understanding
33:59
of god that fails me and so whenever that happens i need to be able to see god bigger or different
34:08
in order to um not feel as if god was not enough for me
34:14
or let me down or whatever um and so for me that's a lot of what why i
34:21
continue to seek because the longer i live and the more that i do
34:26
the more i come to understand things differently and the way that i believed or understood things
34:33
is different um now and um and it's done through the lens of
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connecting through through to the divine the divine that lives within me
34:45
the spirit that lives within me as well as the spirit that lives in you um and that lives between us um and so
34:53
like for me that's um you know that's what helps inform me
34:58
um it's what gives me more information yeah yeah that i'm not able to just pull out
35:04
of my head myself even if i'm reading a book that can tell me a little bit more do you know what i mean like yeah yeah
35:11
yeah you know i we i am so grateful that um i
35:16
have a and community you know and i know you have one too i
35:21
know you wear your child and it's going to be a little harder but i have a community that i i live in i actually get a physical
35:28
tangible experience when i go into my church i love that i need that i have
35:34
a pastor that i trust that i love that i believe is following his pursuit of who
35:40
god's called him to be as our pastor and i and i love that i love that i can
35:45
log on and i can listen to things and i can glean things and i can read books and then i take all of this all of it
35:53
and i bring it back to that place just like you're talking about and i i run it through okay holy spirit guide
35:59
me in this i'm going to re-look at this i'm going to re-examine i'm going to check the scripture reference that my
36:04
pastor gave me and make sure that it lines up with me and my spirit the way
36:09
he said it does and if not what's the difference and how does it affect me how does it mold me how does it shape me you
36:15
know that person that i had lunch with that i trust them that i love that said something to me because they love me
36:20
positive or negative i take it back and i say okay lord how does this how does this look for the for the life that you
36:26
created me to have and i think that's important that with reading stuff i've learned over the years and i've got a few extra years on me than you do
36:33
um that just taking those things that
36:38
a face of value and applying them based on
36:43
uh the holy spirit is is way better than just trying to apply it all at once and to make myself
36:50
fit into a mold that they have for them their own life so i love self-help books i just
36:56
let them help me and only the areas i need help does that make sense
37:02
i'm an overachiever in that i'm like okay i saw what happened i want that same thing so i'm gonna do all these
37:07
things and i'm not supposed to do all those things right one i think the other thing that's um
37:12
the thing that i think that yeah like i believe that we all have a lot of different words and a lot of
37:19
different ways that we connect and interact with god
37:24
and there's a god that god has many names um and um i think people come at it at
37:31
different places and i think that might be something that we um i feel like that's something that's
37:37
different from my understanding of christianity and my relationship with god
37:43
um prior to what it is now i remember when i was young being told that you have to ask jesus to be your lord and
37:49
savior in order to enter the enter heaven and i just don't
37:55
i don't i don't agree with that personally i don't i don't just so you know
38:02
i know you do i know you do like i couldn't imagine being in heaven
38:07
if everyone i loved wasn't there yeah
38:13
and so that that isn't heaven to me so and i know that everyone in my life is not going to
38:18
um you know have an interaction with jesus
38:25
in that way i believe that most people will probably have an interaction with
38:30
you know they use different words i think it's all the same um and we just have different ways of
38:36
describing it and talking about it but i believe that we're all connected to one another we're all connected to god
38:42
and god created us and we are all connected you know and so that might sound a little woo-woo to
38:49
some people and other people might you know you know what i mean but it's not anti the i don't think it's out my
38:55
understanding of god even in the bible um however i think some folks might have
39:01
a different um perspective on that which is fine that's just not where um where
39:06
i'm at and where i come from and a lot of what i'm trying to do or what i think is just to help
39:12
people seek um spirit
39:18
in whatever form that is themselves as well as you know what i mean like in a way that it's helpful do you believe that there's
39:24
there's a heaven um do you think the day we go on the ground
39:30
is is it i don't know um i believe that i believe that god wants us to live happy joyous
39:37
and free here on earth i believe that our job is to create heaven on earth
39:42
right that's like what's happening over time is that our gr we're building a world
39:48
um that is more like the kingdom of god you know um and that happens as we
39:55
grow in life from generation to generation how we hopefully are getting closer and closer um to
40:03
being able to how do we know how do we know what that looks like i don't
40:08
ah but all i can do is try to seek god the best i can and to live and do my
40:14
part um in the best way i can and you know um if we all just did that then that's
40:22
what would happen you know the bible gives a description of that i don't know if you've read it
40:28
or not i encourage you to read it i bet kayla can probably um give you some scripture
40:33
i can certainly look it up i don't know it off the top of my head kayla probably does but but i encourage you because it does
40:40
have a description of what heaven heaven looks like and if we're going to bring heaven down
40:47
on earth i think it's important that we know what that looks like and what that what that means exactly in
40:52
a physical tense sense as well as a spiritual sense um because there's a difference
40:58
yeah i just don't think that any my understanding is actually going to be like the truth of
41:04
what it is that may come and maybe that's like my own like limitations within my brain and my
41:11
understanding but i hope to god that life and that there is more at play
41:17
than whatever i can understand and um you know
41:23
now and after um so i i'm just have a lot more
41:29
yeah i don't know i guess i don't need to try not to get into the too much of all
41:34
that in the weeds of it all it can be really easy i got to get lost in the forest you know
41:41
you know it is it is you know i'm a pretty i'm pretty pretty easygoing there's a lot of stuff that to
41:47
learn a lot of stuff that we are going to pursue and i will be in that state until the
41:52
day jesus comes back so i don't get hung up on all that stuff but you know i do want to see people
42:00
come to realization of who god is i want them to have the opportunity to
42:06
be an eternity in heaven and and so i want to i want to tell people about it you we all get to choose um we can
42:13
choose to serve god or not to serve god um but i i would hope that people would
42:18
choose because if the description and that is in my bible that i believe is true
42:24
my goodness i don't want anyone to miss out nobody and like you said i don't want to be in heaven without anybody that i love
42:31
my family my friends my neighbor whoever that is now if if they can show me another way
42:39
my bible says there's not but that's all like why we need to care about those our
42:46
way if people ask us you know how we do it or whatever then i think that's great
42:52
but at least for me um that's that's the way
42:59
yeah i get that i get that yeah and i don't think it's outside what you're saying either
43:06
yeah no no and i'm i'm certainly not going to um uh tell people uh how how to live
43:13
their lives i you know if they come to me and ask me for my opinion or wisdom on something
43:18
i'm not gonna lie to them i'm gonna tell them based on what i use as a guide for my own life
43:24
that's the only thing i know right just like you would give me wisdom based on the guideline of your life because that's what you know
43:30
right yeah all i can do is share my experience and then if there's something that that you can
43:37
apply to your current situation great um that has one more comment and then
43:43
we've cut we decided to also cut our episodes down to 45 minutes so we'll be finishing up here so we've got already
43:50
yeah um kayla says i see both sides of this but the way the bible explains heaven
43:56
sounds amazing and helps bring me peace when i lose people to know they are in that place yeah so there's a
44:04
beautiful description of of heaven so i encourage you and and i can find those
44:09
passages for you and email them too i mean i've read it i've i've read it
44:14
like i have i have an understanding of of heaven i just don't you know i don't know i just um
44:20
i understand that that there can be some uh comfort in reading that and i don't have a problem with doing that
44:26
um but i don't feel like i wonder what heaven is like right now i'm not questioning
44:32
you know what i mean yeah yeah totally totally get it but if you decide you want to read it let me know
44:38
yeah but i think if i was mad at the world or i was mad at you know like i don't know like if there was
44:43
and it's probably just where i'm at right now in my life um where i'm just like yeah i'm good i'm good
44:49
all right i know you're good but it's definitely appreciated um from both of you
44:55
um so it's all right is this where we have to say goodbye already yeah we just got started okay i know
45:02
with that 45 minutes i think it'll be a little bit easier for people to stick with us um
45:08
and so for folks who are coming across us coming across this we will be getting
45:13
together every thursday night at 5 30 p.m pacific standard time for at least the next 12
45:20
weeks that's usually how we do it um and you can watch us on facebook youtube
45:27
or twitch live or you can watch the videos afterwards on facebook or instagram or youtube or twitch at a
45:35
queer chaplain um and then also um for folks who love
45:40
to just listen um you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts at um
45:46
splintered grace awesome that was a whole lot of words yes thanks for saying well
45:53
and what other thing um if you would like to support us in continuing this podcast as well as the
46:00
a couple other podcasts that i have along the same vein um we'd love for you
46:05
to if you're in a space to uh support us in that way there's a patreon as well um
46:11
that you could um i guess follow us and help uh support us along the way um
46:18
i'm the worst at that part so funny all right you guys if you want to reach out to us we would love to hear from you you
46:24
can find us on our facebook pages i also have a facebook page separate from splinter grace it's called i
46:30
identify as christian so reach out to us pm us we are open books we want to
46:35
share what we think we know we want to pray for you and we just want you to make sure that you're connecting
46:42
with those people that you love and that you don't miss out on something amazing so god bless you guys have a fabulous
46:48
week i will see you next thursday from arizona i'm not sure where bonnie's going to be from
46:53
i know i will i will be in baltimore or near there awesome take care everyone be well everybody
47:03
splintered grace podcast is brought to you by a queer chaplain
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